IF - Camouflage
The seldom seen Scottish Tartan Lizard, is a reptile capable of camouflage in plaid or tartan environments.
Tarties as they are known in the Scottish Highlands can be identified by their plaid scales, and reddish-orange sideburns. The prefered home of the Tartan Lizard is of course the kilt, but they will also nest on bagpipes, and argyle socks.
Although Tarties are distant cousins to the chameleon they are only capable of shifting the appearance of their scales to match plaid or tartan patterns. Some Scientists believe there is also a strong link between the Tarties, and the Lock Ness Monster.
The Scottish Tartan lizard is also know to inhabit England, Wales, Ireland, Canada, and parts of the United States. During the 1970's in the U.S. a new breed of Tartie emerged. This new breed lived solely on the loud plaid jackets of used car salesmen, and t.v. anchormen. In the 1980's a drastic change in fashion patterns threatened to extinct the American Tartie.
Thanks to the work of television actor Frank Boner (WKRP's Herb Tarlek) the American Tartie was saved with the his "No Plaid Left Unworn" campaign which created Tartie awareness, and new habitats from secondhand sports jackets.